To: Mum

c/o No 1 Heaven's Gate

Dear Mum,

The dream itself was a terrifying one. I was in West Norwood at the bottom of Knight's Hill by St Luke's Church. I was waiting to cross the main road to the cemetery with my flowers for you and dad. I noticed that the traffic had stopped at the lights further up, so I decided to cross the road, but as I got to the middle of the road, the traffic which had been at the lights a moment before was suddenly upon me. A huge dirt truck was thundering towards me on one side and a bus on the other side. They weren't stopping for me, and I slipped in the road. Thinking quickly, I rolled out of the way to avoid being crushed beneath the giant wheels of the dirt truck. But I was still fearful of being hit by the bus. It missed me. I somehow managed to get back to the safety of the pavement. Thankfully, it was only a dream.

Missing you always


Peter xxx

location: at the computer mood: anxious tags: family spiritual religious heaven

To: Mum

c/o No 1 Heaven's Gate

Dear Mum,

This is Friday, so this is your centre day when you met your friends, 'the old people' as you used to call them when you were aged just 80! And you loved it too. You dressed up for your centre days putting on your best make-up and not forgetting your gold and silver jewellery. Your centre days, your twice weekly outings, meant so much to you. You were disabled and confined to a wheelchair, so you lived for your twice weekly social outings. But there was sadness too, for you saw your good friends pass away one by one. Then your turn came. You are altogether now, friends for all time sharing gossip and other things. We'll never forget you, mum. You were bigger than life. You were life itself.

Missing you always


Peter xxxx

location: at the computer mood: calm tags: family spiritual religious heaven

To: Mum

c/o No 1 Heaven's Gate

Dear Mum,

Yes, finally we had some sunshine this week, but I'm told by the TV weatherman that it won't last. Today I experimented with the type of little cakes that you used to make without using a recipe when we were kids. I simply mixed flour, sugar, eggs, some milk, baking powder and currants in a bowl, and the result when I removed them from the oven later...was a disaster!!! I shall rename them rock cakes! I had much better success with my bread pudding and apple cake earlier this year. I shall stick with bread pudding in the future.

Tiffany and her partner Chris were visiting her mum. I was surprised to see them when I was out shopping in Crystal Palace. They run a pub in Battersea. Chris was up Crystal Palace to attend a management meeting. I saw little Oscar later, and what a lovely boy he is too. He'll be one soon. He's a contented baby, and very handsome too.

Missing you always


Peter xxxxx

location: at the computer mood: amused tags: family spiritual religious heaven

To: David

c/o No 1 Heaven's Gate

Lo Little Bro,

Yes, today was another rainy day in London with grey and miserable skies. I was last in the garden on Sunday where I found myself moving some fruit plants around. I've put the grape vine by the south facing fence, so it will get more sun come next spring and summer. The young gooseberry bush is now by the new fence which has screened off the eyesore rubbish tip. I'm hoping the foxes will leave them be. One day the garden, your garden, will begin to look like what I hope it will look like and that's an orchard. I may call it 'David's Orchard' after someone whom I once knew.

Missing you always


Peter xxxxxx

location: at the computer mood: calm tags: family

To: David

c/o No 1 Heaven's Gate

Lo Little Bro,

I wandered like a ghostly figure through the pouring rain searching for you. You were lost and needed help finding your way back. I thought I caught a glimpse of you in a shop doorway sheltering from the pouring rain. When you saw me, you smiled briefly and nodded as if to say, 'I'm ok now that I've found you again.' But when I looked back, you had gone once more. Was that your ghostly spirit reaching out to me through the pouring rain? We never did get to say goodbye, did we, Little Bro? You had left us so suddenly that warm summer's day not so long ago.

Missing you always


Pete

xxxxxx

location: at the computer mood: calm tags: family spiritual religious heaven

To: Mum

c/o No 1 Heaven's Gate

Dear Mum,

Jessica, your favourite great granddaughter whom you last saw three summers ago and gave you a thousand kisses a day before you left us forever, has started year two at school. Things get a little harder and lessons aren't so much fun as year one. After spending money on a new uniform for Jessica, Matthew and Pim discovered that the school had changed it. So they had to buy a whole new wardrobe for school. It's an extra expense they can ill-afford what with Matthew being out of work at the moment, so I gave them a little something to help them out. I know you would've wanted me to.

Missing you always


Peter xxxxx

location: at the computer mood: calm tags: family spiritual religious heaven

To: Mum

c/o No 1 Heaven's Gate

Dear Mum,

Today is Sunday again. So it must be Sunday dinner. I experimented once or twice with those ghastly frozen so-called TV dinners. Very small portions for the price you pay, taste like cardboard and again too much salt. I now buy only fresh vegetables. Although nowadays for me it's dinner for one, I remember another time when we were kids living all together at the old place. You made the Sunday dinner for 8 hungry mouths. I loved your Sunday dinners. I treasure the memories of long ago as a family unit. Childhood memories and a time of innocence and fun.

Missing you always


Peter xxxx

location: at the computer mood: contemplative tags: family spiritual religious heaven

To: Mum

c/o No 1 Heaven's Gate

Dear Mum,

This is a chilly autumn Saturday so it must be soup day, and I'm not talking about tinned soup from the supermarket which often contains too much salt, and is not very healthy. This is my own homemade soup. I used to love your homemade soups on a cold autumn day when I was a kid. You always added German sausage after you'd been shopping in the local continental shop at the weekend. The German sausage always gave your homemade soups great flavour, and they were filling too. My homemade soup will also include German sausage and lots of fresh vegetables. You can't beat it. I usually make a big pot and have several helpings!

Missing you always


Peter xxxxxxx

location: at the computer mood: cheerful tags: family spiritual religious heaven

To: David

c/o No 1 Heaven's Gate

Lo Little Bro,

I found a pair of old work jeans belonging to the guy next door on the grass in the back garden. The foxes had taken them and chewed them up. I laid them carefully over the fence. The guy next door thanked me. Then he cursed the foxes.

Missing you always


Peter xxxx

location: at the computer mood: amused tags: family

To: Mum

c/o No 1 Heaven's Gate

Dear Mum,

This would be the day that I finally made an important decision. No more excuses and no more lies. Yes, this would be the day that I would finally have my long awaited hair cut. The Spanish lady carrying out the op asked if I wanted gas. I replied that I did not. I wanted to be wide awake throughout. And she was good. She was very good. I think I'm in love again, Mum! I now no longer look like an aging hippy thanks to the barber from Seville!

Missing you always


Peter xxx

location: at the computer mood: amused tags: family spiritual religious heaven

To: Dad

c/o No 1 Heaven's Gate

Dear Dad,

Today was the first day of October and autumn. Although it was a little colder, the weather remained fine and sunny. Matthew helped me complete the fencing in the back screening off the rubbish tip.

As I walked down the hill to the little independent shops, I noticed the big bright yellow 'Appeal for Witnesses' police sign down a side street in the corner of my eye and the word 'Murder' jumping out at me. Should I be worried? I thought a little concerned, but I was also a little curious too, so I turned off the main road walking a short distance to read the big yellow police sign, which seems to be common these days on our streets. A man had been shot dead in the street. I learnt later from a local newspaper that he had been getting into his car when he was shot. It was probably drugs related, they said. A sad reflection on our society today.

Missing you always


Peter xxxvv

location: at the computer mood: anxious tags: family

To: Mum

c/o No 1 Heaven's Gate

Dear Mum,

I decided that today would be the day that I had my hair cut at the local barbers, for I am beginning to look like an aging hippy from the 60s, and I know that you would never approve, so I popped up the shops to take out some cash with my debit card, however, there was a long queue in the post office. I did the weekly shop instead, but I promise to get my hair cut very soon. I collect the Nectar Points on the groceries etc and today I discovered that I now had just over 5000 points which is worth about twenty-five pounds! A princely sum at that. Tonight I am preparing homemade soup with fresh vegetables etc. Today is also the last day of September and the nights are already drawing in. The brown leaves of autumn are on the ground. 

Missing you always


Peter xxxx

location: at the computer mood: amused tags: family spiritual religious heaven

To: David

c/o No 1 Heaven's Gate

Lo Little Bro,

My new fencing arrived earlier, and Matthew, our nephew popped in to help me erect it. He has the power tools to do this. It was only three panels for now to hide that rubbish tip at the back, and it's worked too. It's to screen it off. Unfortunately it won't stop the foxes. I really don't think anything will. Every morning when I check the garden, I dread the damage that they've done overnight with their digging for grubs and worms. I've protected most of the new fruit bushes and fruit trees with netting and guards. If you leave things out such as children's toys or boots, they'll take them. They also dump on the lawn and elsewhere. Little Bro, can't you ask the Big Guy upstairs to send down a big bolt of lightning to singe their tails! I gave Matt a little reward because he puts a lot into the jobs that he helps me with around the place.

Missing you always


Peter xxxx

location: at the computer mood: annoyed tags: family spiritual religious heaven

To: Mum

c/o No 1 Heaven's Gate


Dear Mum,

Hil's birthday card finally arrived exactly one week late owing to the postal dispute. I'm still waiting for other cards. She gave me her new address up here. Her card was a funny rude card which surprised me for Hil because she is usually so straight. Her birthday is today, and I sent her a straight card. I must remember for next time. Her card was funny though. I was still surprised however when Dorothy told me that they had moved back up here.

Missing you always


Peter

xxxx

location: at the computer mood: amused tags: family spiritual religious heaven

To: Dad

c/o No 1 Heaven's Gate


Dear Dad,

Sunday dinner in our household was a traditional roast when we were kids., but tea was a little bit different. It was mum's spicy German biscuits and her home bakes. You also used to buy ready cake mix from the local shops or supermarket. This you made yourself. My favourite filling has to be butter coffee. We were an ordinary working class family, yet I never felt poor once during my childhood. In fact, I felt very, very rich.

Missing you always


Peter xxxx

location: at the computer mood: cheerful tags: family

To: Dad

c/o No 1 Heaven's Gate


Dear Dad,

I asked Dorothy the other day to recall some fond memories of you from our childhood. She remembers with fondness you sitting at the bottom of the stairs at our old place polishing all our leather school shoes until we could almost see our faces in them. I think this probably came from your army days when your sergeant insisted that you polish your boots till you could see your face in them!

Missing you always

Peter xxxxx

location: at the computer mood: amused tags: family spiritual religious heaven

To: Dad

c/o No 1 Heaven's Gate

Dear Dad,

Do you remember the gold watch that was given to you in lieu of lodgings? I'm now going back to the mid 1960s. You didn't want to take any money because the individual concerned was a family friend...well, Margaret's boyfriend. You never sold it because you never had a gold watch before. When you left us many summers ago, the watch was lost. It then resurfaced shortly after mum died. I had it repaired very recently with a new strap put on. I'm now wearing it every day, and I too promise not to sell it. It is after all my first gold watch too!

Love always


Pete xxxx

location: at the computer mood: cheerful tags: family spiritual religious heaven

To: Mum

c/o No 1 Heaven's Gate

Hello Mum,

Patricia brought in Oscar today, the newest great grandson you never knew, and how he has grown over the last nine or so months. Soon, he'll be a year old. I know you would have loved him. He is a handsome little boy and a contented baby. The family you and dad started all those years ago continues to grow. The love never dies. You and dad passed it on to us.

Love always


Peter xxx

location: at the computer mood: calm tags: family religion heaven

To: Amanda

c/o No 1 Heaven's Gate

Dear Amanda,

You were so very young when the angels descended from heaven and you journeyed with them to an enchanted place that only children know. I visited you today and left you some pretty flowers. I sprinkled cool water over your stone, over your innocent face.


Sweetest Kisses

Pete

location: At the computer mood: calm tags: family religion heaven

To: Mum

c/o No 1 Heaven's Gate

Dearest Mum,

Today is the sad anniversary of your death. But I feel on this day that it is a time to celebrate your long life and not mourn your passing. So I visited you and dad on this third anniversary day. I lay some beautiful flowers on your grave. I also wanted to thank you both for giving me (us) life. It was a beautiful early autumn day too. You are at peace now and together again with dad. Does love ever die?
Love always


Peter xxxxx

location: at the computer mood: contemplative tags: family